The ugly A word.

|| A N X I E T Y ||

I’ve struggled with anxiety for years.. I didn’t know I was until it got worse.

It’s been a huge mountain for me to climb in the past 2 years & it has cost me experiences, opportunities & people. It’s resulted in late nights of crying uncontrollably, crying out to God, insecurity, doubt, & so much more. It’s something you can’t even wrap your mind around until you are stuck in the thick of it. & then it feels like a glimpse of hell.

Your mind can play major tricks on you & it can be scary as h e double l. It really can. You will feel as if everyone is judging your every move, you are hated, & you will overcompensate for more than you should. Your mind will cause you to believe your friends, family, & even acquaintances are upset with you. Fear can set in where you clean, worry, avoid & research ALL THE THINGS.

Obsessing is also a form of anxiety & I struggle with it incredibly bad. I’m a control freak & it shows in many ways of my life. I’m a people pleaser & really really worry if I’ve upset others. I watch my business very closely from start to finish every day & pour from a empty cup so much to make sure everyone is pleased. I’ll lay in bed at night worrying if I’ve shown Beckett & Luke enough love for the day. My mind is constantly turning like a hamster on it’s wheel.

Anxiety has also played a huge toll on my body at times. It can feel like an out of body experience. Achy joints, dizziness, fatigue, chest pains, clenched stomach, heart racing, hot flashes, etc.

It is so much more than some people realize which is why I felt it was so important to write about this as embarrassing as it can be to put it out on the line that I struggle so badly with this.. if it can reach one person that it could help, I’ll write it every. single. time.

With all of this being said.. I have learned how to cope so much better & you can too!!! Now of course I still have bad days & weeks.. over all, I’m doing better. When hard times strike I take a second to take deep breaths & really think about the situation. Learning your triggers help tremendously. When I’m stressed, sick, when Beckett is sick, & I’m overall overwhelmed my anxiety is over bearing. I have to stop to ask myself.. will this matter 5 months or 5 years than now? If no, I’ll allow myself 5 minutes and move on. As far as dealing with people.. I learn to be the best I can be. You are not Nutella.. not everyone is going to love you or see you for you. You aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea & that’s ok!!! I’ve realized my little family is the best team I could ever have. On my hardest days, they wrap their arms around me & love me.. regardless.

Exercise, sleep, water, healthy diet, positive thinking, deep breaths, uplifting people, & most importantly, GOD will get you through some of the hardest times of anxiety. You have to tell yourself “I’m stronger than I think, I have the ability to overcome this & my feelings are allowed to be here and they will pass.” + if medicine helps you, DO. NOT. BE. ASHAMED. to ask a physician for help. If you are sick you would get medicine to overcome it.. sometimes the mind gets sick too, & that’s ok!

Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s problems.. it takes away today’s peace. Anxiety does not define you.. you are so much more than it convinces you that you are. Let those thoughts & doubts go in one ear & out the other. When the days get greater than you can stand, kneel. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Cry out to The Lord with your worries, burdens, doubts + concerns and let Him help you change your way of thinking. ” When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

If you are reading this & need someone to talk you through it. PLEASE email me confidential & judgement free.

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