Finding myself through mamahood.

I never really knew who I was until Beckett. Yes, I knew what inspired me, motivated me, + what I enjoyed… kind of. That all changed when she came into my world, of course. I just really didn’t know my fears & my soul until I held her in my arms. My life changed the second I laid eyes on my beautiful 6 lb babygirl. I thought that postpartum might kill me, seriously… I did. It was SO HARD. Some days are still SO HARD. It took me until this month to realize that I was really just changing from the inside out. She has made me so much more aware of life & cherishing every moment. I want to show her light, love, adventures, & motivate her to chase her dreams with no regret. She is such a beautiful girl… her personality is contagious. I can’t be around her without just wanting to be a better person. Her love is radiating. You never understand what people mean about your love for a child until you experience it.. true bliss.

So mamas, even on the hard days… remember this. Remember, YOU are their all. Remember, life before them.. dull. Remember, the sloppy kisses. Remember, the belly laughs.. the love in their eyes. Remember your life changing for the BETTER & soak it all up. They are only this little for so long.

Elephant in the room

Hey! It’s been a while. I had put the blog on hold to really focus on my situation and family. I’m finally at a healing point where I feel like I can share in hopes that I can help women suffering in the dark with this. Beckett Rowe is almost 7 months old & I am FINALLY pulling out of the “dark”. Don’t get it twisted when I say dark… these have also been the BRIGHTEST 7 months of my life as well. Ummm, how is that possible?!

Let me back up and tell you what led up to THIS as well..

3 months before Beckett was conceived I experienced an unexpected miscarriage. I was told for years due to endometriosis it would be hard to conceive & I was THRILLED to be pregnant with a little babe. We had to go in earlier + more than normal to track allllll the things to make sure our baby was on the right track and healthy. Everything was looking great! We went in at 8 weeks to hear the heartbeat to find out there wasn’t one… that’s the only way I know to put that. It was world changing, heart breaking + rocked my world. I didn’t really even know until now how much it rocked my world. I had NO signs of miscarrying + I was stunned. I had to wait two days go in for an additional ultrasound to make 100000% sure then have a D+C to have my baby removed. That was brutal. It still is brutal, honestly. It still hasn’t 100% settled right with me & I don’t know that it ever will.. I can’t wait to hold my babygirl or baby boy in my arms one sweet day.

Fast forward 3 months.. I took a test thanksgiving morning to see a “yes”. TEARS OF JOY followed by intense fear. I was scared to death & I wanted to do EVERYTHING in my power to protect this child given to me. I was scared to go to the gym(was advised not to do much), couldn’t vacuum, terrified to drink caffeine, guarded my stomach like crazy… I was really over the top y’all. We had a scare at 9 weeks due to my placenta then at 28 weeks due to dehydration… God protected my angel girl. I went in at 37 weeks with preeclampsia & had to have a c section four hours later. I was told I had very little amniotic fluid around her & the cord was wrapped around her neck multiple times. THANK YOU GOD for getting my beautiful Beckett Rowe to me safe & sound.

We got to bring our perfect bundle of joy home & I was seriously in love. In LOVE. I had the normal struggles of moving around with c section, breastfeeding (she is now formula fed), and being a new tired mom. Day 5 came & my world was flipped upside down. I was hit with THE WORST postpartum anxiety. I don’t even know how to explain the feeling I was struggling with… tight chest, shaking, complete fear to just say the least. I felt like a failure. It was supposed to be THE HAPPIEST time of my life. I worked so hard to get this perfect baby here healthy & why would I feel this way?! I watched her constantly.. barely eating or sleeping because I feared if my eyes left her something may happen. I made up the most bizarre scenarios in my head that could happen that I would have to protect her from.. which now I realize was my OCD + a little PTSD coming into play from the miscarriage. Yes, I’ve seen therapists over this & no, I’m not ashamed to admit that. What I experienced & still experience some is SO REAL + so much more normal than people realize. Hormones suck. The love of a mama is intense. Being a new mom is life changing. I take an anxiety pill daily.. that’s ok. I had to have help to get my fear under control to be able to pull myself together to be THE BEST mom to my angel girl & thats ok. I know I’m a good mom & if you are struggling with the same, you are too!!!! God has called me to tell this story time & time again, but I have lived in so much fear. “What will people think?” Now, I no longer care. There needs to be so much light brought to postpartum because it is out of a mom’s control. I love Beckett Rowe Wright more than I could ever put into worlds & I would do anything in this world to keep her self. I’m a helicopter mama & I’m proud of it.

If you are struggling in the dark & need to talk… please email me taylorwrightblog@yahoo.com . I won’t say a word & no one should have to struggle alone.

Nordstrom’s Half Yearly Sale!

I wanted to share with you some of my fav items I already own, have just recently purchased, or plan to purchase off of Nordstrom’s’ Half Yearly Sale.

Nordstrom is my GO TO for all things brand name that I LOVE… + who doesn’t love a really really good SALE .

Women’s Nike Outburst Sneaker

I currently have these sneakers + I love them! I feel as if they are TTS. (True To Size)

BP Side Slit Tee

My fav basic tees and they are SO AFFORDABLE!

Textured Double Breasted Coat

I’ve been looking for a funky fun jacket… so this was a YES for me!

Faux Leather Spanx

If you don’t own a pair of spanx… are you even living?! Haha. These are a great price!

Steve Madden Slippers

Under $20 and comes with extra things?! YES PLEASE!

Dri Fit Sports Bra

Love these sports bras! This is a great price for them!

Moonlight Pajamas

THE COZIEST pjs!!!!!

Mac Bronzer

This is MY FAV bronzer.. I always go back to this brand!

Becca Lipgloss Set

Just ordered because you can’t go wrong with Becca or Chrissy Teigen.. right?!

Living Proof Set

Living Proof is AMAZING + this price is a steal!!

Facial Spray Duo

I use both of these! They are so affordable with great results!

Barefoot Dreams Blanket

These blankets are a splurge, but they are THE COZIEST I have ever owned.

True Grit Pullover

True Grit pullover for your man 40% off!!! No brainer!

Adidas Track Pant

These pants are 40% off + a easy comfy look for the man in your life.

Polo Joggers

Another pair of men’s joggers at a crazy good price!

Britxton Hat

Ordered this one for Luke!

Billabong Shorts

These are 40% off + look so comfy!

Rainbow Jammies

Just ordered these for Beckett Rowe!! So stinkin’ cute!

Tea Leggings

These are my absolute FAV pair of leggings to put on Beckett… So I, of course grabbed these!

Tea Striped Legging

+ these too!!

The Honest Company Diaper Bag

I currently am carrying this diaper bag & absolutely love it! The back pack style makes it so easy + it has lots of storage!

COMOTOMO Bottles

We use this brand, and really love them!! These are great for breastfeeding babies as well!

Chenille Baby Blanket

Beckett’s currently OBSESSED with cozy blankies!! I ordered this one because it is a great price! I think it will be amazing quality!

Unicorn Toy

Beckett just got this toy for Christmas + loves loves LOVES it!!!

Chewbead Links

We have these + they are a HIT! She loves to play + chew on these on the go!

Ugg Chukka Sneaker

How cute are these?! We love our uggs.. they are THE BEST quality. I just ordered these because they are 50% off!!!

Lara Ribbed Legging

I think we have these in almost every color. They are THE BEST!

Coco Leggings

Another super cozy pair of leggings for your babygirl!

MY WHY.

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Let me start by saying this perfect little family of mine wasn’t started by a snap of a finger or a stork.. there were many tears, prayers, doubts, heartache, + worry involved to the birth of our beautiful baby girl, Beckett Rowe Wright.

Luke, my husband, and our daughter, Beckett, are MY WHY. They are my constant, my motivation, my rock, + my reason in spilling my guts to you. I have been encouraged by so many to tell our story, and honestly it took a lot of praying for me to even THINK about being this open and honest with you all. HEY, if it can help just ONE person then it is a win.. right?! I sure hope so.

I’ve started this blog to share with you all my endometriosis journey, our miscarriage, my  pregnancy anxiety, her birth story, my postpartum experience, and straight up MOTHERHOOD. The hardest, yet most rewarding beautiful job of my life. I have had many friends suggest that I share fashion and beauty tips, home decor, relationship advice (the little I can give because lets be honest.. haha), and more. I pray this turns into a site that can motivate, inspire, humor, and even give women and/or mothers a different light on their journey.

There is so much honesty + real life stuff to come.. stay tuned.